George’s Not Tears
by emuroo
Summary: George isn't crying. He doesn't cry. He won't.   George is thinking about a recent death. DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS. Part of the Reflections Series, but you don't need to read the others. Complete.


Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it isn't mine.

George's Not-Tears

I don't cry. I want to make that very clear. I, George Weasley, do not cry. It isn't up for debate, it is simply a fact. There is no question about it, it is simply true. So therefore I know that the drops of water rolling down my face are not tears. I know that as I kneel here, next to my dead brother I am not crying. Fred would agree with me.

No. Fred is dead. There. I said it. Half of my soul is gone. How can I keep living without Fred? How can I run Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, or tease Ginny, or just live? How can I exist without him?

The drops of water are coming faster now. I refuse to call them tears. Fred and I don't cry. I don't cry. Fred can't cry. But we agreed on our first night at Hogwarts that we wouldn't cry anymore. Crying was for babies. We were Hogwarts students.

I feel as though my heart is breaking. My world is ending. I know that it seems like I should be okay in the end, after all, I still have friends and the rest of my family, but, I dunno, Fred was just… different.

I don't know how to explain it to someone who isn't a twin. Imagine the bond that you have with your best friend. Then multiply it by a million. Then imagine them dying. A thousand times. That _might_ come close. Maybe.

Now the drops of water are making twin rivers down my face. Identical, like Fred and I used to be. But they aren't tears. I'm not crying.

What will happen to me now? I wish that I could die. My life is over, so why should I keep living? I wish that I was the one lying there dead, or, better yet, that it was both of us. We've always done everything together. This war changed that.

First my ear, and now this. I want to die. I know that my family expects that I will get over this the way they will. Slowly, with time. They are wrong. I can't get over this. Half of me died.

Now my shirt is getting wet, there are more water droplets falling down my face than there are tears falling down Mum's. I am not crying, though. The Weasley twins do not cry. Even if Fred is gone I will not cry. I refuse. I even passed over the rhyme comment that could have been made about Fred is dead. What's wrong with me? Who am I? Fred was my identity. He was part of what made me me,

No one ever talked to just Fred or just me. It was always Fred and George. Or Gred and Forge. Now there is no Fred. Why can't I die? I want to go jump off of the astronomy tower. I wonder if I would end up doing accidental magic and not dying. Still, it might be worth a try.

I can't imagine what his funeral will be like. Probably unbearable. Everyone will be telling me how sorry they are. Telling everyone, really, but especially me. I don't want to hear it. I don't care how sad they are. It doesn't even compare to the pain that I feel.

They don't want to fall off the face of the earth. I always thought that Fred and I would die together. What went wrong?

My family is around me, even Percy. This is sort of his fault, but… I don't know. I can't feel anger right now, only pain. So much pain. Agony. Death mast be easier than this. I'll have to ask Fred's opinion. NO. He's dead. Gone. Sort of like the song Harry told me the golden egg sang. Too late, it's gone, it won't come back.

My face is soaked. The water droplets have long since blurred my vision. Still, at least I am not crying. I won't cry. I, George Weasley, the only Weasley twin left, will not cry.

Author's note: That was really depressing. Anyway, this is part of a series called Reflections. They are about characters reflecting on a bunch of different things. Some of them are closely related to Deathly Hallows, some aren't. There are three more, one about Luna, called Luna's Wishes, one about Snape entitled Snape's Dreams, and one about Lily called Lily's Fears. I am asking for suggestions of characters whose reflections you want to see. I will dedicate the story to you if you suggest a character, as well as sending you a message when I put the story up. Please be nice and give me suggestions. I promise to respond to every review.


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